I Get To

I had a dermatologist appointment this morning. I was not nervous beforehand but during the exam I started questioning whether I should be. I have gone to the same doctor for 5 years now and this time he really made me feel like I need to be checking every mole everyday. I felt like I am a ticking time bomb just waiting for more melanoma. I am grateful he is so cautious, I just have to find that line of being aware without living in fear.

Afterwards I went for a 10 mile run, I must admit I was not felling it. I woke up with a headache(this is normal since my wisdom teeth have been pulled) and I just felt anxious. i struggled throughout the run, mentally more then physically. I thought about turning around many times, then I would be fine then I would struggle again. Finally around mile 7 I started praying, and just thanking God for the opportunity to run, that I get to run, not have to. That is something I have been reminding myself a lot lately. I get to raise 2 wonderful kids, I get to work, I get to take care of my family, I have a house I get to help remodel. And on that note, I get to go mop floors before my sis, niece and nephew arrive!

Recovering

I have gone on 2 runs since having my wisdom teeth pulled. The first was a 4 miler on Sunday, there was a little throbbing on my "complicated" tooth but it didn't hurt. The run itself was a slow one. Later that night I moved my jaw just right to send pain shooting all over. The rest of the night and following day I had a headache that I could not get rid of and tooth/jaw pain. After a massage from my hubby that night my head finally quit hurting. I held of running until yesterday when I couldn't take it any longer. I went for 3 miles and it felt hard! I was hungry which I am sure was part of it, I am still on a soft food diet so I am not eating as much as I normally do. My food choices have not been very good either, so today I am having a green smoothie and am going to add some more fruits and veggies into my food.

This morning I woke up to the right side of my head pounding and swollen. I went to the dentist and it is healing fine, since I had some of the bone removed with the tooth he said it would take 6-8 weeks to completely heal. He gave me some steroids to help with the swelling. I am going to keep running when I can and hopefully eating some more food will help my energy levels.

Catch Up

A lot has happened since I last posted. On Presidents day C and I took our kids cross country skiing, this is the first time for Brooklyn and Gavin has only gone one other time 2 years ago. Gavin had no problem and zoomed ahead of us, fortunately C's kids have gone before so they stayed together. Brooklyn was scared at first but she did great. In her typical fashion she went at her own pace, she was not worried about catching up to the other kids, she just took her time. She is the same when riding her bike, kids can pass her and she will just happily pedal along at her own pace. I hope she stays like that, happy where she's at, not worrying about what everyone else is doing. After skiing we went sledding. We found a nice trail people were using to walk up and sled down there. There were just enough turns to make it feel like a water slide and the kids had a great time.

My sister also had her second baby last week. He had a few problems with his lungs so my BNL Mike and the baby flew to Denver. My sis had a C-section and was not released from the hospital yet. It was very scary but there were a lot of people praying for him and God took care of him. The x-rays in Denver showed that his lungs were fine, he had to stay down there for a couple days but was able to come home on Sunday. Unfortunately we also had to come home Sunday so we were not able to see him. I can't wait until I can hold him!

Now today I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. Now I am just resting and catching up on all my shows I have on dvr that I usually don't have time to watch. I have ran every day this week and am hoping I will be able to run on Sunday. I ran on 10 miles on Monday, the most I have ran since last spring. It was great and I was amazed out how good I felt. I don't usually run the next day but I knew I wouldn't be able to run on Friday or Saturday so I ran 3 the next day, 5 yesterday and 3 this morning. My quads are a little sore but otherwise I feel great. My fitness has really improved and I am loving running again. I also did core work a couple times this week and some strength training for the first time since my arm surgery.

Now I am off to watch more tv and have some ice cream...one good thing about having my wisdom teeth pulled, I don't have to feel guilty for eating ice cream!

Confidence

I have been working on upping my mileage, and after months of 10-15 miles a week on average I have finally been hitting 20-25 the last month. Last weeks long run was 7 miles. I was running with my friend C, it was early afternoon and not too cold, so it should have been great. However, it was hard! I struggled the whole time, especially when talking.

This week my mileage has increased and I have been feeling good. Today C and I were planned on running 8 and I have been worried all week that I would hold her back. We met up and it was around 12 degrees outside the sun was shining and no wind, so we were good to go. I love cooler temps so this was perfect for me. We started out and I was feeling good, we hit 3 miles and things were going great. Then came the big hill, we cruised up it(we thought we would have to walk!) and then came the fun part of running back down. We finished off our miles with both of us feeling like we could run more. I really enjoyed this run and it was just what I needed to build up my confidence. Now I am ready to tackle a training program.

Early Morning Running

I have a love/hate relationship with the treadmill. I love it when it's freezing outside or when my kids are home and I need to run. In the past I would run mid morning or at night, whenever I could fit it in. Now that I am working full time, and my job requires me to be outside, I am having a difficult time fitting it in. So I have finally accepted the fact that I am going to have to become an early morning runner. This has never been my favorite time to run and I hate the treadmill in the morning. If I am strength training or working out to a video I don't have a problem getting it done early, it's only treadmill running that I psych myself out. However I have signed up for a half marathon in June and I would like to train harder then last year. I did drag myself out of bed at 5 on Thursday and ran an easy 3 miles. I didn't love the run but the rest of the day I felt great. Now I just need to continue until I learn to love it!

Appreciation

This week has been full of ups and downs. Monday I received a call from the dermatologist. The biopsy report came in on the mole they removed from my arm, melanoma. I was in shock and made the appointment for surgery on Wednesday. I checked out google and waited for JR to come home so I could tell him. He of course handled it well, although he was scared he didn't let me know, too much anyway.

Wednesday my daughter had an appointment early so I was able to talk to the doctor and was told that there is a 96% cure rate. He would cut it out and that would be it, except for frequent checkups for the next 5 years. I am incredibly lucky. This was a huge wake up for me and the 2 days between the initial call and when I met with my doctor made me think a lot about my life and how I want to spend the time and energy God has given me.

Looking at changes I want to make in my life, I opened Amanda's post at runtothefinish.com. She has a 30 day Appreciation challenge for the month of February. Everyday I will tell someone what I appreciate about them. This will be great for me because I am guilty of not telling people what I appreciate about them. I am excited to see what this challenge brings!